Do You Know What I Mean?

I just had a shouting match with Maurie about my ideas on church. Trust me, I know how terrible that sounds and how awful that is - but I am having some trouble getting my point across. Here is where I am right now.

The church should not be meeting in a building. It is quite simply a colossal waste of resources and effort and worry. It is a sea anchor. The church should not be paying people to do what all of us should be doing. I have read the verses that people use to justify payment and even used them myself once - I don't believe they apply anymore. We should not have a preacher, paid to entertain and teach once a week. We should not have divisions in our worship by age. Jesus would not have sent the children away for "Bible Hour" for the Sermon on the Mount (I ripped that example off something I read recently - sorry no reference). No one should be paid to visit the sick and dying. There is more but that's enough about money issues.

The church is a priesthood of believers - not a collection of folks along for the ride while one drives and another navigates. Indeed, we are all called to be priests. Some were not called to be complainers and some to be winers and some to be lazy consumers and some to be - you get the idea. We are the hope of the world - the ones in the pews - not the man behind the lectern.

Then there are the 'ifs' that I must deal with.

If I was sure this was right and...
If my family would not be offended and...
If those I love would join with me,

I would plant a church in my house tomorrow and I think it would prosper and do what the church should be doing. I am not sure what the concept of Institutional church is - I know it sounds bad, but I am not sure of my definition. I don't want to stop being a Christian or stop being associated with a body of believers. I just want to stop trying to convince my neighbors that they should come with me to a building, sit in a pew and watch worship. Instead, I want them to explore their gifts - man or woman - and then put those gifts into service for the Kingdom.

Do you know what I mean?

The Forum Apartments

Mohawk Engine Co. 12 is always a wonderful detail for me. I like the guys, the house is nice and aside from the fact that they always make taco salad when I'm there (I don't love taco salad) it's a great crew.
The tour I write of was no exception. We were busy reading the paper and watching the news as the bells went off. The Tower was reporting an alarm sounding at the Forum on MLK W. Alarm drops are very common in the CFD and so we were not really rushing to get there. In the engine we talked assignments. I was to attempt to silence the panel while others notified the buildings management of the false alarm.
As we pulled in front of the building, I was not dressed for a fire. Bunker pants at my knees, I saw the other roughneck beginning to scramble. He had just heard a resident of the building describe smoke filling the hallway on 5. It was chaos. I pulled up my pants and threw my coat on. My SCBA came next and then I was clamoring out of the engine awaiting instructions - this would be my first high rise fire. Around the other side, Rick was pulling out the high rise pack - clearly designed by someone behind a desk - and we were making for the door. With 150 feet of hose and assorted tools we climbed the stairs.
Once on 5 I started to hook up the hose to the standpipe and Rick made for the hallway in an attempt to locate the apartment on fire. He came back as I was finishing up stating that the fire was just around the corner in the first apartment on the right. Masking up to enable us to breath in the smoke, we made our advance and quickly extinguished the kitchen cabinets. The fire had not advanced too far and come under control with minimal water use. After a search revealed no occupants we headed for the exit, fresh air and a bit of rest. Other companies arrived soon after it became a one-alarm and went to work getting the smoke removed with fans and searching other apartments on the floor.
We found and rescued two dogs - but several of the owner's animals had taken too much smoke and were already dead. Some residence offered their thanks and we were back in time to enjoy that taco salad everyone loves.

It has become about more than just frustration with my tradition; this urging to (I don't want to say escape) embrace more of what should be Kindom living. It is fueled by links to websites where folks have written things like:

Now I'm going to say something harsh: In order to BE the Church, we need to leave the church. In other words, in order to truly become God's people as he intended, we must abandon our cultural version of organizational church. The application of this statement might vary, but it must happen.

Last night we had LifeGroups at my house. I participated in the 5K race in the morning and Maurie and I missed worship with the church. However, I'm not sure I "missed" it at all.

a Church

Where is the easiest place, say, for a man to be spiritual? Maybe, is it hiding behind a big pulpit, dressed up in holy robes, preaching holy words to a faceless crowd and then disappearing into an office? And what is the most difficult, and therefore most meaningful, place for a man to be spiritual? At home, in the presence of his wife and children, where everything he does and says is automatically put through a spiritual litmus test against reality, where hypocrisy can be effectively weeded out and authenticity can grow. Much of Christianity has fled the family, often as a place of its own spiritual defeat, and then has organized artificial performances in sacred buildings far from the atmosphere of real life. As God is in the business of recapturing the homes, the church turns back to its roots, back to where it came from. It literally comes home, completing the circle of Church history at the end of world history.

Typically I won't borrow someone's words to express my own thoughts. But I like what Simson has to say above. As I struggle with "doing church" I have begun my journey to discover church again. I'll try to share with you where this road takes me.

N Edgewood Fire

While detailed to Truck 19 in Corryville, we made a fire on N Edgewood in what we call the Patch. On dispatch there were reports of two women trapped and we hustled to the truck with a bit more purpose. While enroute we were made aware that multiple calls were coming in (a sure sign of a working fire) and that a woman could seen at the window on the second floor. We were first due and as we pulled on to Spring Grove Ave - still a few blocks aways - I could smell the smoke. We talked assingments and I finished getting my gear ready for the search. Lt would have the camera, I carried an axe and a halligan bar.
The fire was bigger than I anticipated and the woman was now on the roof of the porch getting ready to jump. We tried to convince her to wait a bit while we threw a ladder, but she bailed as we made our way to her. Her body landed on the concrete steps of her home, breaking her femur and dislocating her shoulder. She was burned and screaming about her mother still being upstairs. We ensured a Rescue Unit would collect her and moved on.
We forced the locked front door and were confronted with a lot of heat and thick smoke. The camera was a big help with orientation and we made straight for the stairs which had already begun to burn out. Meanwhile, I heard the radio traffic from District 3 as he assumed North Edgewood command and knocked off the second alarm. The jumper was already on the way to UC. The Lt and I were making good progress and we climbed the stairs and started searching rooms. We wasted some time in the hallway bathroom - not knowing exactly where we were. But in a few mintues time, we had the second floor complete, but no victim.
The call came for us to be relieved and Truck 20, Truck 32 and Truck 2 began to search over our ground as we sat in the front yard aiding with hose streams and ladders. My only hope was that we didn't miss her in our search, knowing she was dead if she were still inside.
Some rumors flew through the fireground that she was out and safe. I was relieved and then called back inside to overhaul the fire. We pulled ceilings and walls for a good while and then found her body at the top of the stairs. The plaster had fallen on her and 4 truck companies crawed right over top. It was a mess and my stomach turns as I think about laying the sheet over what remained.
When I went back outside to get some water and take a second, I saw this woman's family accross the street getting the news from D-3 and from the Homicide detectives. I tried to stay focused on the job, but lost it for just a moment. The fire came in about midnight and we were relieved on the scene by U-3 at 0700.
At home that morning, Maurie asked me how my night went, I am not sure what I said.