Marriage as a Decision - not a Feeling

This summer Maurie and I will attend, participate and otherwise support nine friends as they get married. We have already had some - and showers and parties are fast approaching. We will drive through several states and fly to Europe before it is all over. With all the joining of lives going on around me, I have been very thoughtful of marriage and its meaning in my life. I have been asked to define marriage in one ceremony. Here are my thoughts for that couple.

Definition of Marriage

Everyday of our lives we make decisions. We set our alarms, keep our appointments, juggle our schedules. But there are decisions that are not like the rest. These are the decisions that change our lives forever, these are moments, that years from now, we look back on and know that we were changed. You are I are blessed as we get to witness and participate in a decision made here today by proper noun and proper noun.

There is a war being waged as to the definition of marriage. I suggest to you that, at its most basic level, marriage is a decision - it is a promise. I am a man who believes in God and who thinks that God created marriage for us to enjoy. I also believe that marriage is the foundation of the family. But I also know about making good and bad decisions and the power of keeping and of breaking promises.

When you were little did you ever pinky swear? Have you ever spoken words of anger inorder to convince someone that were indeed telling the truth? Tonight's ceremony will not involve pinkies or swearing of anykind, but it will involve promises - promises easily made, but not so easily kept.

Today you will promise to trust each other in all things. And you will promise to be trustworthy as well. You will decide tonight, that no matter how you feel, you will support one another - you will choose to love one another. As children, we think of love only as a feeling. As we age, we had better look at love as a decision made and a promise kept. There may come a day when your feelings would have you leave and your own selfish desire would chose to walk away. But here today your decision has been made and you have chosen to bind yourself to the other. Long after this ceremony is over, you will have to contine to make that decision. Marriage is often described as the hardest relationship you will ever have - with work, it is also the most fulfilling.