I once counseled a friend to take time to think. I was ridiculed for such an offering. Having no time to think themselves - the others in the room thought it a humourus thing to suggest. They have no idea of the impact that night has had on my life.

28 August 2005

The System

Heard this on NPR's show All Things Considered and wanted to share.

A black maid executed in Georgia in 1945 is being granted a pardon by the state for killing a white man she said enslaved her. Lena Baker said she acted in self-defense, but a jury of white men convicted her after a one-day trial. Baker is the only woman to have been executed in the state's electric chair. On Aug. 30, Georgia authorities will present a proclamation to her descendants, including her grandnephew Roosevelt Curry, who led the drive to clear her name.

I would recommend going to NPR.org and searching the story to listen to it in its entirety - worth it. It is heartbreaking. And yet I cannot help but think that America's not-to-distant past is filled with Lena Baker's and faces and stories that demand justice.

In a world filled with postmodern thought - this one thing has redeemed our age: The stories of the oppressed and of the poor and helpless are being and will be heard. They will be valued as other history has been valued and we will question until we get answers.

While the church is still wrestling with what to do with this seemingly liberal thought process, the intelligentsia of our cities are grasping the freedom and telling that which could not be told before. And I believe they are making room for the gospel in a world that thinks it has already heard the gospel. We don't need to repackage and dress-up the Truth. We need only the faith to speak it anew and claim the promises of God for ourselves.

A dead woman needs no pardon, but her story needs telling. My shirt is green and Jesus rose from the dead, rather you believe or not.

"God don't make us jump though hoops, he ain't countin' every oops. He loves us, relax"

25 August 2005

Women

This is mainly for Adam - but others can read on.

Maurie and I listened to the sermon on our way home for Louisville and I feel like I need to listen again. It is clear that he has done good research and his points were powerful - to say the least. His use of Leviticus 19 was near inspired and he questioning was faithful to scripture. As you can see, I enjoyed it - but I am not sure he addressed fully the issues raised by Paul in Timothy.

Example - Why does Paul reference the Fall when making his case?

With this specifically in mind, Cope reads from Genesis contradicting Paul and saying that that is a fallen view of women; never addressing the plain fact that God made it so. However, I am not sure about the effectiveness of that argument. To me, I was still wanting more about how he reaches his conclusions. I thought his use of Paul's "become all things" may have been bit out of place - but perhaps I was just uncomfortable with it.

So, I will listen again and perhaps launch my own study of this age-old question.

Keep thinking.

13 August 2005

Missing Tragedy

In my work - that of professional firefighting - the thing that brings us work brings tragedy to those we seek to serve. And though it is not my fault that homes burn and people die, I am often there with my colleagues to witness such events. What's worse, when I miss a tragedy - like the two-alarm fire I missed on my Kelly Day - I get upset and talk about how great it could have been.

Yesterday I watched a woman die in her living room. She called us for help because she felt like she could not catch her breath. We arrived in minutes, fresh from an afternoon nap, and were there to provide the assistance we have been trained with. But thirty seconds after we walked in the door with a tackle box of drugs, the heart monitor and an airway kit, she was gone.

She told us her name and talked briefly about when her trouble started. Then, as I tried to get a blood pressure, she looked up and died. We rushed her to the rescue unit and did all we could - not enough in this case.

It has been almost three months since I arrived on the companies of our nation's first professional fire department and I am still so confused about the job. We celebrate fire - the loss of someone's home and possessions. Then, when we see death, we go back to the house and finish our movie or resume our nap.

I work the best and the strangest job in the world.

11 August 2005

Unfinished

It seems that several people I know have had reason to celebrate recently and, though I will not go into all the situations, I do want to mention one man in the crowd.

Chuck Jones is a guy I used to know. We worshipped at the same small church in Nashville and went to the same university for three semesters. He is a singer, songwriter from Texas and has never given up the dream. Chuck would play coffee shops on Vanderbilt's campus and Shamblen Theatre on occasion. He writes about the raw side of life sometimes and other times you can't quit laughing at the words and tone.

I am not good at finishing things - this I come to realize the hard way. But Chuck has made it - at least by some standard. When all the guys from the Aggregate left him for families and jobs, Chuck hung in there. So, download iTunes from Apple and sample his stuff. Search Southpaw Jones and I think you'll like what you hear.

Finish something today - for me.

09 August 2005

Quakers

The doctrine of non-resistance to evil by force has been professed by a minority of men from the very foundation of Christianity.

-Tolstoy

Some observations that I have made as a man living in Cincinnati, Ohio. If you want to save the life of an unborn child you are a conservative stepping on the rights of others. However, if you want to kill all your enemies and believe that the only problem with dropping the Atomic Bomb on Japan was that we didn't have ten to drop - you are that same conservative. I admit, perhaps too radical an example - but I think you could see the truth in it.

The call of Jesus is to surrender and, in my estimation, abandon formal and communal politics as they are being offered to us today. There are simply no Christian choices and I am not sure we have a system that would allow for them. We must return to the power of the Spirit working in our churches and serve like never before. We must become creative in our resistance to the thought that the above example makes any sort of sense when set up next to the Christian worldview.

I will begin by visiting a Quaker meeting - I am not even sure you can do that. However, the Quakers are known for the stuff that I think the Gospel would have us be known for. Reports to come.

23 July 2005

Doing Good Missions

This morning did not start well - I was tossing the cookies in a San Diego Airport bathroom. It never got much better - I was chunking on the plane and nearly pooped my pants twice. However, after some salad and a sandwich, I am feeling much better.

Maurie and I are back from Mexico and we are still nailing down our exact thoughts on the week past. I will write some now, but save the bulk for later, when I have put some separation in and perhaps added some insights.

Here are some facts on the trip: Something like 85 of us went to Baja when 40 would have been too many. I went to build a house and spent very little time on the site and the home never was finished. Baja Missions is an organization with too much money and not enough to do. Everywhere we went we drove. Everywhere we stayed was the best in town. Everytime we did anything, we needed pictures of the moment and "gold stars" to praise those involved.

Perhaps that is why I am so sick.

I will write tomorrow. I am happy to be home and looking forward to worship with the church tomorrow.

12 July 2005

Update

As promised, I am updated you as to my progress with the violin. I have completed two lessons with Rachel and have my third scheduled for Thursday. To date I can play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in four variations. Some sound better than others, but I believe I am making headway.

Maurie and I leave for Mexico on Saturday. We will be gone for a week of work in Baja. I look forward to the journey and will write after I return.

08 July 2005

More Than


Red Eye
Originally uploaded by uujenna.
Isn't this a cute kid? I have no idea who she is, where the picture was taken or any of the necessary details that come with showing someone a photo. It is just a picture.

But to a precious few the girl represented on your screen is a daughter, a sister, a new best friend. Either way, she is more than just a kid with a Crayon.

Adam writes that God has placed me exactly where I ought be. What are the chances of that happening? Should I start playing the Ohio lotto - am I that lucky? And if I am where I should be, are you where you should be?

Adam also writes that I am more than a firefighter and this is the crucial point I better not miss out on. True, I am where I am and it could be right where God wants me. But, if I were somewhere else, God would need me there too. The will of God for my life is not like the double bulls in a game of darts. Nope, the will of God in my life is much more like a canvas with lots of paint and lots of space.

Allow God to use you today as you teach, while you drive, and amongst your free time. Be God's hands while you paint the masterpiece of a lifetime.

05 July 2005

Adjustment

Yesterday's tour was a lesson in dying. First run out the door I found myself doing CPR for 10 minutes while the Medics pushed drugs and checked the monitor. There was no dignity, it was not clean and simple. Instead it was awkward and a bit scary. I felt inadequate, and at times - useless. Death was not gracious - perhaps she never is.

You must understand, as I thought I did, that I will face death many times over in my 25 year career. However, I was not sure how it would be that first time. Now I know. It was one thing to see the dead, quite another to "work" the dead.

The remainder of the shift was no better. Multiple gunshot victims, dumpster fires, and domestic violence calls rounded out the day. I think I'm tough, I think I can handle it - but yesterday sucked and I'm not sure I'm ready for another day like it - just yet.

The older guys at my house say there is an adjustment period. You must get used to death before you feel normal after a day like yesterday. Do I want to get used to it? Do I have to get used to it? What else about me might change because of this job?

02 July 2005

Camp Nurse


camp road
Originally uploaded by joshuahanauer.
The only issue with being a camp nurse for a week in upstate New York is that people assume - incorrectly in this case - that you are actually a nurse.

My week at Shiloh was very rewarding and I am happy to report that I never had to use my pseudo-nursing skills.

True, I do have a bit of a cold and my cabin was the toilet for the entire camp for a bit - but overall a great time.

I return to work on Monday after having not been for quite a while. It will also be the 4th which promises some interesting runs.

For now, just trying to catch up on some sleep and enjoy being home with my wife and my cat.

24 June 2005

The 'Burbs


The 'Burbs
Originally uploaded by joshuahanauer.
Took in a movie tonight - a 1989 classic - The 'Burbs with Tom Hanks in his younger years. I know that reviews are mixed, but Maurie and I love this stupid movie.

Tomorrow I travel to Engine 35 in the heart of Westwood, not far from home. After the tour, my flight leaves for NYC on Sunday morning. The details are still hazy as to my responsibilities, but I am fairly confident a good time is to be had.

I will miss home and my wife, but reunions are always to be wonderfully anticipated. Intentionally not taking a camera to Shiloh, just want to enjoy the time with both my eyes for once - remind you of a song?

Looks like we are in for another movie - About a Boy - a bit more our time, still a classic.

20 June 2005

Thinking


the thinker
Originally uploaded by joshuahanauer.
Recently it was suggested by a new friend that I write more about the foundation of this small window into my world. While explaining to my new friend that I enjoy sitting and thinking, he inquired as to when I began the practice and where I like to think best. Finally, he wanted me to write about the expansive topic and here we find ourselves.

The sculpture is surely fitting. This is Rodin���'s The Thinker Statue, a piece he used to call The Poet ��� representing Dante. Perhaps you don���t know of Auguste or Dante, but most know The Thinker.

What other action evokes so much curiosity? For in the action itself is contained as much variety as stars in an infinite universe. If I tell you that I am thinking ��� you ask, ���What about?��� And here lies the source of contention. It is so, because everyone is thinking. It is the subject that separates us into our groupings.

In the days to come I will explore this thought with my own mind. For now I must practice my violin and prepare for Maurie to be home. Today has been very enjoyable.

14 June 2005

home away


e51
Originally uploaded by joshuahanauer.
Good morning. I am home from a day with Engine 51 in College Hill. It is a small neighborhood with a small firehouse that is not very busy. We did have a fire - it was in a dumpster, 30 feet away from an apartment building - but a fire just the same.

I have recently decided to spend the last week of June at Shiloh in upstate New York. More details as they arrive. I will serve as the camp EMT for one week and then return to prepare for Mexico.

It seems I am busier than I thought I would be, but very happy with my situation in life.

More thoughtful writing in the days to come.

09 June 2005

Violin


images
Originally uploaded by joshuahanauer.
Over the short years of my life I have discovered many pursuits which bring me happiness. Save doing a backflip off a diving board, I will try most anything. In fact, I usually throw myself into activities with both feet and my wallet too.

The violin will not be the exception. Instead, it will be an anthropological study on learning and patience. Perhaps the research will never be read in the university classroom, but it will be ground breaking. For I have only limited experience with anthropology and I have never studied the violin.

It all begins friday in a small town in Indiana. I will be sure to write frequent updates to tell stories of progress.

side note:

Tomorrow I work 24 hours on Ambulance 9 - that means I will get no sleep.

08 June 2005

On Learning

Sitting this morning with Angela I was made to wonder how many around me have stopped learning. Angela is my would-be violin teacher but I am not so sure that I will be her student. Today we had something of an interview and she did not do very well. They say you can tell if you will hire someone right off - without a word. So it was with Angela.

I will hire someone to teach me. But I will work after our session is done and they will do the things I would do if I were not learning. They will read Whitman and take walks and nap in the afternoon. They will do this because they have learned and, better still, learned to teach.

Some have stopped learning and they think it better. The work is not as appealing as the knowing. For example, I want to play the violin. So, I must weigh the work of learning to play against the fruit of being able to play.

It is the same with any subject you choose. Should the work ever become too much for the joy, it is always abandoned; to continue is one definition of madness.

Praise God that Jesus came and taught simple men the eternal truths of existence. Perhaps more importantly, I thank God those individuals were not finished learning.

When did it become okay to quit learning?

07 June 2005

Not Ohio


Dunluce's castel bay
Originally uploaded by eowin.
Have you ever traveled?

I mean - left the language that you speak best so far behind that the people you are with don't even want to know how to speak it - traveling.

I mean - nothing looks even close to familiar and you think it's the greatest place on earth - traveling.

Don't be afraid to leave, because it is the leaving that causes our ignorance and our fears to die.

Travel to grow, to change and to experience. Have you ever traveled? And not just in your truck or on a train, but in your mind. Sit and Think about a place you imagine. Not Iraq or Canada - but a castle prepared for you.

Jesus said he was going away and that he would prepare a place for us. What does that mean? How does God prepare? Does he build; speak it into existence like the earth we know and travel on? What we will be has not yet been revealed, but in the resurrection lies hope entire.

Have you ever traveled?

Vain Attempt

I am still learning how to use this thing - my mind, I mean - not the computer.

06 June 2005

Kelly Week

I recently began work as a professional firefighter with the City of Cincinnati. As such, I work a fairly strange schedule. Every three weeks the schedule gets extremely weird and I am finding it particularly wonderful. Saturday (of last week) was a workday, but I will not return to work until Friday (of this week). It is a full five days off with no vacation, no holiday, no sick time. Just the gift we firemen like to call a Kelly Week. So a hearty thank you to all who went on before me. See you at the bank, Home Depot, and everywhere we go without lines, without traffic and without hassle. As my comrades on Truck 32 always say, “Eat ‘till you’re tired, sleep ‘till you’re hungry.” But, when the tones drop I run like mad to the Truck, praying that God will keep me safe.